I'm retaining water in my breasts and its making me horny because they are real firm and warm.?

I know its not normal though to be retaining water. I've taken some water pills and am drinking water to alleviate the swelling and tenderness, but anything brushing across my nipples sends me into a tizzy! What can I do other than masturbate to relieve this? Going to the doc is not feasible right now.